Today I am in Debt Darkness

I knew there would be times like this. We were paid on the first of the month. I paid some bills and purchased groceries and household supplies.

I even pulled out some cash as a safety net.

I continued to check my bank account to see whether the bills cleared. After 4 days the house note still hasn’t cleared. So I checked the mortgage company website and no pending payment was listed, so I submitted the payment for almost $2900.

Unfortunately I only have about $2600 in my account now. I’m expecting another $200 in a couple of days from a FSA (Flexible Spending Account) reimbursements. So that still won’t be enough to cover the mortgage.

I’m feeling extremely nervous. I am not sure if I made the online payment and it was rejected or if I simply wrote and marked the payment on my ledger but forgot to actually make it while I paid the bills. Regardless, there is not enough money in the account now and I don’t get paid again until the March 14, next Thursday.

It’s bad enough that we won’t have any money to live off of for the next week, but now our mortgage payment is in jeopardy. I’VE NEVER NOT PAID MY MORTGAGE. That’s the bill that I always pay first because I don’t want to take any chances with the mortgage. Now I feel awful. This whole financial situation seems to be slipping into an abyss of darkness. There’s already a whole slew of bills that were knowingly going unpaid, and now the mortgage might be among them. I can’t explain how demoralizing this situation has become. Any advice of words of encouragement are welcomed.

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